4. WORKING THOUGHTS: Incomparable Perfection
You're incomparable. Really, you are. There's no one else on the planet, or anywhere in the Universe, quite like you. Yet I'm willing to bet that you spend a good chunk of your time comparing yourself to someone else.
It's wonderful that we have the capacity to aspire to the greatness we see in others. The problem is that aspiration sometimes triggers desperation: the desperate feeling that we're just not up to par.
What's an incomparably perfect (but temporarily depressed and perfectionistic) person to do? Here are some of my favorite remedies:
Learn the Boodle Lesson. My cat, Boodle Anne, is fat, cranky, and anxious. She sets a new benchmark for self-absorption. In short, Boodle embodies much of what I'd rather not accept in myself. Yet I adore Boodle just the way she is. Sometimes she hops into my lap when I meditate, interrupting my spiritual progress with a sweet lesson about how utterly irrelevant externals are when it comes to being loveable. What person or animal do you love unconditionally?
Collect Compliments. Make a point of really hearing the compliments that people offer you. Let them all the way in, and forego listing the "ifs, ands or buts" that steal potency from this remedy. The less comfortable you are with a compliment, the more important this practice is. Think about it, how does pushing away honest good feelings about how you show up in the world improve your personality or your performance?
Do Esteemable Things. I owe this to my friend, Kathleen O'Brien, who says she was once advised that if she wanted self-esteem, she should do esteemable things. A caveat: this remedy increases in potency when you let go of getting credit. Experiment with doing an anonymous kindness once a day for a month and watch your outlook change.
As Emily Dickinson observed, life is indeed startling; the only thing more startling is your own amazing, incomparable perfection. Risk noticing it this week, and let it bless everyone you meet.
[Note: I wrote this over two years ago, before Boodle underwent a miracle of late-mid-life transformation. In the fall of 2000 she blossomed into a sleek, coy, attentive, and affectionate companion. Just goes to show you what 12 years of unconditional love can do for a girl!]
5. BEST PRACTICES: Make Reporters Love You!
Kick-Start Your Publicity Campaign (and Make Reporters Love You), a one hour teleclass with Joan Stewart, "The Publicity Hound"
Ever wonder how other businesses get great newspaper coverage? It's easier than you think. Join me and special guest, Joan Stewart, aka The Publicity Hound, to learn: -How to identify the best media outlets that can help you with free publicity. -The most important question you can ask anyone in the media (it will make them love you!). -How to pitch your story ideas. -Clever hooks for stories. -How to create a media database. And lots MORE.
October 8, 3:00 - 3:55 PM Eastern time. Class size limited. Teleclass $15
Can't attend? Order the Audio Tape! $23 includes shipping in the US.
6. NETWORKING: Career Renewal | Feng Shui
----------- Career Renewal -----------
I was delighted to read this week that coach Kim Frerichs has a new program for mid-career professionals.
The program (which will be offered in Seattle and Denver this fall/winter) is especially for those who may be outwardly successful but who, when they look ahead to the rest of their career, want something more...be it more meaningful work, more fun or passion from what they do, or perhaps just more of a "life".
The program will include development of a personal career renewal plan and development of a network of support to enhance and sustain progress. Learn more by phoning Kim at 206-366-8286 or visiting www.careerrenewal.com.
------------- Feng Shui ---------------
FENG SHUI: Coach and Feng Shui consultant Vicky White sent this note about last week's article, "Make Room for Success."
"I'm in your Authentic Promotion Tuesday group -- the Feng Shui consultant! My work is largely about making space -- it's such an important subject -- clearing the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual clutter from our lives. It's amazing to see the magic happen when we do -- and sometimes people don't even realize the effect it's having on them. I call it emotional constipation!" Visit Vicky at www.lifedesignstrategies.com.
7. THE BEDSIDE TABLE: Business as an Evolutionary Path
"Attracting Perfect Customers: The Power of Strategic Synchronicity," Stacey Hall, Jan Brogniez. Develops the notion of attracting customers in a very specific, concrete way. Origin of the warm up exercise for looking at everyone you meet to discover the one characteristic they have that you want in your perfect client or customer.
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"A General Theory of Love," Thomas Lewis, M.D., Fari Amini, M.D.,Richard Larmon, M.D. What, really, can we expect from therapy or personal development? How did 12 years of unconditional affection transform Boodle (my desk-sitting cat) into a love Goddess? Why did it take so long? What does this have to do with becoming a more effective and joyful person? This book answered those questions for me in a manner at once poetic and scientific.
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"In Over Our Heads, the Mental Demands of Modern Life," Robert Kegan. Kegan posits that modern life has a curriculum that makes significant but unacknowledged demands on how we learn. Though he never mentions coaching, I read this book as a cogent explanation of coaching's emergence as a response to the gap between how life challenges us to learn and how we know to learn. In this sense, the book is a compelling argument for the value of coaching in contemporary life and work. Essential reading for coaches, trainers, therapists, teachers.
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While you're reading Robert Kegan, don't overlook the book he co-authored with Lisa Laskow Lahey, "How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work." This title presents a process that I use in every 12-week Authentic Promotion telecourse to mine the values that underlie participants' complaints about marketing and to reveal the hidden commitments and beliefs that keep them from creating powerful businesses.
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8. BUYER BEWARE: Second Thoughts on the Best of the Best
An otherwise quite reputable coaching and consulting group has been soliciting nominations for its 2002-2003 "Best of the Best Coaches Handbook." Anyone can nominate a coach, and self-nominations are accepted, via an online application. Those who are accepted will pay a fee of $500 (for external coaches) or $1,000 (for internal corporate coaches) "to defray the costs of publication."
I am concerned about this approach. It is not clear by whom or according to what standards nominees will be evaluated. It is not clear how client information from the nomination forms might be used. And the price structure gives the (perhaps erroneous) impression that listings are reflective of featured coaches' willingness to pay the fee rather than of their professional accomplishments.
Fortunately there are other ways for prospective clients to locate and evaluate coaches. The International Coach Federation (ICF) operates a free online Coach Referral Service at http://www.coachfederation.org. In addition, thanks to the work ICF has done to establish standards, ethics, and credentials for the coaching profession, prospective clients have solid benchmarks on which to base their selection.
While the "Best of the Best" handbook may look handsome on the shelf, it smacks of vanity publishing. While that is not necessarily a bad thing, I for one would prefer not to be listed in such a volume.
TALK BACK: Send your comments and questions to me at leaf@mollygordon.com.
9. COPYRIGHT | SPONSORS AND AFFILIATES | SUBSCRIBE/UN-SUBSCRIBE
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