7 Reality Checks for the Possible Dream

The New Leaf^™
The Official Newsletter of Authentic Promotion™
Volume 5, No. 46, November 18, 2003
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-311X
Molly Gordon, Master Certified Coach

Please forward this issue without cutting to your neighbors, friends, and colleagues. That's how we grow, and to show our appreciation we donate 10 cents to Childreach for every new subscriber.

Thriving in the Sweet Spot and Risking Blissful Service, my newest 4-week teleclass, starts Tuesday, 11/18, at Noon Eastern. It's not too late to sign up. Register any time this week and you can listen to the first session on audio podium (a telephone recording of the entire session). Sign up here: http://www.kickstartcart.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=53329

In This Issue
Fast Focus: Creative Opposition
Simple Gifts: Manage Your Time, Manage Your Commitments
Open for Business: 7 Reality Checks for the Possible Dream
The Bedside Table: Different Strokes for Organizing Different Folks
CONTEST: Win The Tao of Abundance
Best Practices: Declutter for Clarity
Quick Links: Resources
Small Print: Copyright | Getting on and Off the List
Privacy Statement | Contact Info

Fast Focus
Creative Opposition
Opposition is an essential shaper of the creative process, closing off some choices and pointing in new, sometimes completely unfamiliar and unexplored directions. Think of it as putting banks on a river. Without those banks, a river's flow loses force. Add banks and you focus and direct a powerful flow.

Where are you experiencing opposition today? If you accepted these limits, what new choices might open up for you? If you let go of your beliefs about why you are opposed, what new possibilities might you see? What else might you do with the energy you are using to resist the opposition?

Inquiry: What request would I make today if I were not afraid of hearing "No"?

Simple Gifts
Manage Your Time, Manage Your Commitments
If you still have too many good ideas, try charting your commitments so you can see where your time goes. This reality check can help you make better choices. There’s a very simple form, downloadable from my Web site, that you can use to get your commitments on paper. This is not rocket science, folks. It is a way, though, to clarify where your time goes and show whether you are trying to put 180 hours into a 168-hour week.
You'll find the link to the form at the bottom of the following Web page: http://www.mollygordon.com/resources/index.html.

Bonus: Download a copy of Marketing Sherpa's "Marketing Inspiration for 2003: Top Marketers Reveal Their Learnings." http://www.authenticpromotion.com/files/marketingsherpa_inspiration_2_2.pdf (Make sure you got the entire URL; it ends in "2_2.pdf".) My only relationship with Marketing Sherpa is as an appreciative reader and customer.

===> Electronic Marketing Butt Camp (audio tapes)
Tom Antion is a professional speaker with a background is stand up comedy, so when he set out to create a "boot camp" for successful Internet marketing, he named it "butt camp." He says it's a guide to making money while you sit on your butt. Actually, success online, as in any medium, requires work. The good news is that Tom can save you months of time and energy and thousands of dollars of development costs. He delivers up-to-date content in a direct, irreverent style with just enough detail to get started but not so much that you get overwhelmed. http://www.antion.com/t.cgi/192738/buttcamp.htm

Open for Business
7 Reality Checks for Building the Possible Dream
[adapted from a column in the July 29, 2003, issue of The New Leaf]

One of the themes that ran through my recent class, Believe! How to Work With Your Beliefs to Grow a Prosperous and Meaningful Business, was the tension between the creative power of thought and resource-depleting habits of wishful thinking. I offer the following 7 Reality Checks to help you reconcile your dreams with reality so that you can build your dream into a thriving business.

1. In spite of your best intentions you will make mistakes. To the best of your ability, which may sometimes be slim, welcome these occasions as an opportunity to let go of perfectionism. Pause to review your offer to your clients. Are you positioning yourself as a know-it-all or as a responsive partner and learner? Are you putting yourself on a pedestal? Reflect on the distinctions among honesty, reliability, and perfection. Meditate on the difference between apology and accountability. Muse on the difference between significance and integrity.

2. Things go "wrong." I put "wrong" in quotes because stumbling blocks teach me things I need to know in order to serve and thrive. Hey, I'd rather learn without failing too, but however the lesson happens, there you are. Every time you look with humility and trust for your personal lesson, you are helping to create the possible dream. (Note: Sometimes the lesson is simply to let go of your idea of what should have happened. Lessons are not code for "There's something wrong with you.")

3. Not everyone wants or needs what you have. That’s good news because odds are that you can’t respond to every one anyway. Cultivate the courage, integrity, and clarity to listen deeply to prospective clients and decline to work with those whom you are not ideally suited to serve. Ask questions, especially scary ones (Can you afford this? Do you have any reservations? What will it take for this to be a good investment for you?). Ask first; sell later. Actually, when you do this, the selling takes care of itself. That's the premise behind coach Kendall SummerHawk's tape series, What to Say When You Hate to Sell. Learn more at http://www.cartville.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=38272

4. Humbly welcome opportunities to profit. I did not have Kendall's tapes in mind when I wrote the item above, but they are a perfect fit, so I'm happy to include the link to her work. Will I profit if you buy them? Yes, I'll earn a 20% commission on every sale from that link. And since there’s no such thing as a one size fits all business solution, I encourage you to always use due diligence before you buy anything I recommend. That way I can sleep at night.

5. Customers have bad days, too. Some times they're going to take it out on you. That doesn't mean you have to slink home licking your wounds, nor does it you get to strike back. It certainly doesn't mean you have to accept abuse. When you feel unfairly used, take a few deep breaths, notice what you wish were different, and remember that we’re all human. Maybe it’s time to do some boundary maintenance. Are you pretending that you need to please everyone or that everyone needs to like you in order for you to thrive? Look to yourself, not because you are to blame, but because you are the only one whose behavior you can manage. (Customers are always right where they are.)

6. Sometimes whole systems go wrong or you find out too late that a new project was not quite ready for prime time. (Just ask me.) At times like this you get to practice being available and responsive to customer needs while also taking care of yourself. Sometimes you won’t (yet) know how to solve or resolve the problem and you may resent the time you’re using to reassure clients instead of getting things on track. BREATHE. Learn to say, "I don’t know and I do care and I will get back to you as soon as I can." Practice saying it with dignity, conviction, and patience. Take some time to wonder what you would need to believe in order for all of this to feel right and true.

7. Owning a business can be isolating. Many entrepreneurs are natural soloists. That doesn't mean we don’t need or want support, though we may be the last to realize it. Spend some time wondering why other people might want you to thrive. Let your imagination run free as you speculate on what kinds of collaboration could work for you. Turn your complaints about networking into dreams of your ideal support system. What would your business look and feel like if you knew you did not have to have it all together because there was lots of help at hand?

The secrets to creating the possible dream are all related to accepting what is, which includes accepting the support that is everywhere around you and accepting your own desire to build a business that adds real value in the world and allows you to thrive. Some days it will be easier than others to believe that reality and your dream can co-exist. But if you persist with humility, passion, and trust, your dream will teach you how it wants to be made real. I know because my own dream teaches me every day.

I welcome your comments and questions. Please send your letters to letters@mollygordon.com . Please do not reply to this newsletter as your message will be lost in cyber-limbo.

The Bedside Table
Different Strokes for Organizing Different Folks
In this issue's article, Declutter for Clarity, I am proud to recommend a very useful ebook, Winning The Fight Between You and Your Desk. The strength of author Jeff Mayer’s approach is that it is straightforward, direct, and if you follow his instructions you will absolutely have a clean desk.
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=27096

As reliable as Jeff's system is, it does not work for everyone for the simple reason that some people will not or cannot follow his simple system. What's up with that? I think we can find the answer not only in different personality types, but also in the various contexts of complexity in which we are striving for efficiency and effectiveness.

Simply stated, linear organizational practices work best in a context of relatively straightforward projects characterized by easily defined objectives and work methods. In these contexts, Mayer's work is unbeatable. in more complex situations where multiple projects and work flows are being managed with varying levels of conscious and unconscious competence, a different system is called for.

That's where David Allen's book, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity comes in. Allen incorporates the best practices of previous time and paper management models but takes them to a new level by acknowledging that we need different sorts of systems at different phases of development both in terms of our own development and the life cycle of projects.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0142000280/mollygordonperso

There is no one right way to organize, and understanding this can free you from the frustration and discouragement of working with inappropriate systems. Given the value of finding the system that makes works for you, it makes sense to invest some time, money, and due diligence in examining a couple of models and then choosing the one that fits best.

Searching for a book or CD or other product on Amazon?
When you use these links to Amazon search engines you
support The New Leaf. Please visit and bookmark them today.
US: http://www.mollygordon.com/searchbook.html
UK: http://www.mollygordon.com/eurobook.html

Best Practices
Declutter for Clarity
Happy Distraction: Make a Snowflake
Learn how to take a desk that looks like a toxic waste dump, and transform it into one that resembles the flight deck of an aircraft carrier. That's what I actually learned to do from Jeffrey Mayer's ebook, Winning The Fight Between You and Your Desk.

One reason Jeffrey's book succeeds where others have failed is that it is dead simple and focused on a single outcome: a clean desk and a clear mind. Get your own copy today and build clarity into your routine.
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=27096

Contest
Win The Tao of Abundance
In the November 11th issue I wrote, "Make a list of the small changes that can make big differences in your life. Choose one to implement for at least three weeks. Repeat."

Send me your small change list before December 15, 2003, and I'll enter your name in a drawing for The Tao of Abundance by Laurence G. Boldt. All entries become the property of Shaboom, Inc. I'll remove identifying information and compile the entries into a resource list for all New Leaf readers.

Quick Links
Resources
Thank you for supporting The New Leaf by purchasing the products and services recommended below. I personally test every product I recommend, and every merchant will refund your investment if you are not satisfied. If they don't make it right, I will.

===> Client Compass Software
Create and maintain client files that integrate intakes, session notes, billing—all the administrative functions that support you to create prosperity by showing up and serving your clients. In addition, there are a Practice Building component for identifying "Ideal Clients," strategies for growing a coaching or therapy business, and prospect tracking. You have 60 days to try it and request a refund, so your risk is nil.
http://www.cartville.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=32114

====> Coach Parenting
Coach Deb Phillips has a suite of products and services for parents and families. Deb is smart, capable, and a realist. If you are a parent looking for solutions, check out her work at
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=57058

===> Make Sales Without Selling
Kendall SummerHawk's three-tape series, "What to Say if You Hate to Sell," shows exactly how to have a respectful, authentic, thoughtful conversation with prospects, a conversation that results in people asking if they can hire you (how would you like that!?).
http://www.cartville.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=38272

Small Print
Copyright | Getting On and Off the List
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is written and
edited by Molly Gordon, MCC.Copyright (c) Shaboom Inc. (r) 2003.
All rights reserved. www.mollygordon.com

"Shaboom, Inc." and "Authentic Promotion" are registered trade or service marks of Shaboom, Inc. All other trademarks are property of their respective owners.

You may reprint material from "The New Leaf(tm)" in other electronic or print publications provided the above copyright notice and a link to http://www.mollygordon.com is included in the credits. Please send me a copy of the publication.

You can get off this list by going to http://www.mollygordon.com or by sending an email to unsub@mollygordon.com.

When you forward this material, please send the entire newsletter. Thanks!

Privacy Statement | Contact Info
We never sell, rent, or loan subscriber information to any third party. Period.

Shaboom, Inc.
Life could be a dream...
PO Box 195
Suquamish, WA 98392-0195
P 360-697-7022
F 801-996-7022

Readers’ Special
A Gift of Music
I invited my friend Werner John to put together a special offer for New Leaf readers. He wants to earn money to tide him over the winter months and learn more about marketing online. I want to offer readers special incentives so that I continue to build the New Leaf community and I also want to be able to measure the response to special offers.

Werner already offers free shipping for any online order of more than one CD. Now, for a limited time, New Leaf readers can receive 10% off any CD or combination of CDs. In addition, if you order four CDs, Werner will throw in a free copy of his Christmas Past, with special guest Eugene Friesen of the Paul Winter Consort. These discs make wonderful gifts.

To get your discount and free CD, go to http://www.woodflutes.com/elhome.html. Read about the albums, listen to samples, and make your choices. Then, when you use the online secure credit card order form, enter the discount code newleaf (one word!).

I hope you'll take advantage of this opportunity to support Werner's work and to get a great value for yourself.