The New Leaf^™
The Official Newsletter of Authentic Promotion™
Volume 5, No. 50, December 16, 2003
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-311X
Molly Gordon, Master Certified Coach


Invest in the New Year
In 2004 would you like to:

• Know your soul purpose?
• Market yourself with ease, integrity, and confidence?
• Cultivate inner knowing as you organize your life?
• Discover how marketing can be a meaningful and even transformative practice?

As a subscriber to The New Leaf you can invest in the tools to make these intentions come true at savings of 10 to 30% plus bonus gifts. Click here http://www.authenticpromotion.com/freshstart.html for details.


In This Issue
Fast Focus: Not That, and This
Simple Gifts: Useful (and Human) Biz Books
Contest: The Envelope, Please
Open for Business: The Gift of NO
The Bedside Table: Fear No More
Quick Links
Small Print: Copyright | Getting On and Off the List
Privacy Statement | Contact Info
Readers' Special: A Gift of Music
Errata


Please forward this issue without cutting to your neighbors, friends, and colleagues. That's how we grow, and to show our appreciation we donate 10 cents to Childreach for every new subscriber. http://www.childreach.org


Fast Focus
Not That, and This
Have you ever noticed someone who seems to be really thriving and had the thought, "I am not like that"? I have. And I've discovered that when I really sit with that thought instead of pushing it away, I can notice how it is true. What’s more, the way in which it is true is good news for me and for the world.

For example, Authentic Promotion is, in part, the result of realizing all that I am not. I compared myself to some successful business and marketing coaches and here is what I found. I am not a marketing expert. I am not an advertising copywriter. I do not know how to get rich quickly in any way that appeals to me, so how can I sell such a scheme to anyone else?

As I let myself deeply appreciate what I am not, all that I am came flooding in. Oh! I am a person with real life experience overcoming my fears and biases against marketing. I am a person who has found that being in business for myself is a profoundly challenging spiritual path. I am a person who loves learning, so it is natural for build learning into my work.

Next time you feel a negative judgment about yourself or others curdling in your craw, see if you can make space for it to arise as simply the truth about what you are not so that you can open more gracefully to what you are.


Simple Gifts
Useful (and Human) Business Books
If you work for yourself or want to, it is essential that you learn about business. This list will get you started. To get it, send a blank email to bizbooks@mollygordon.com.

Getting the Most Value from Your Biz Book Investments

1. Choose one book at a time so you won't get overwhelmed.

2. Make a point of going back to books a month or so after you've read them. You’ll be surprised at how much you’ve been applying and you’ll the steps that you’re ready for now.

3. Do read the books you buy. They won't make you money sitting on the shelf.

4. Use each book like a workbook. Try the techniques and suggestions. Think about what you are reading. Talk about it to others.

5. Make time. Set aside an hour or more a week to read and implement new ideas. This is part of your overhead; build it into your planning.

6. Focus. Choose one or two things to try and put them into practice before you add something else.

7. Don’t break your teeth on the parts you hate. Do look for alternatives rather than putting your head in the sand.

8. Do chew on the parts that take you one or two steps out of your comfort zone.

9. If something in a business book seems to conflict with your values, challenge yourself to articulate exactly what the problem is, then see if you can find a values-based way to implement the ideas.

10. When you disagree with the author; look for a bigger context, a better solution, a truer direction. Read as though you are in a juicy conversation.


Contest
The Envelope, Please
Linda Burns-Pollet is the winner of the Small Change drawing. Linda wins a copy of Laurence Boldt's Tao of Abundance. We're compiling all the small changes submitted by readers into an autoresponder. Watch for it in a future "Simple Gifts" column.


Open for Business
The Gift of NO
Some possibilities show up only after we are told "No." My own coaching practice grew out of the "No" of a flagging wearable art business. Lee Iacocca turned Ford's "No" into a resounding "Yes" at Chrysler. We've all heard countless stories about artists, athletes, entrepreneurs, and others who created their greatest successes in response to resounding "Nos".

In order to engage the possibilities latent in "no," it is necessary to look at the tendency to avoid asking questions that might generate "No" as a response. Sometimes I think I wrote the book on avoiding requests that might not be fulfilled. In fact, as a life long practitioner of the art of self-sufficiency, the only thing I have avoided more assiduously than asking for something I might receive is asking for something I might be denied.

What I have learned is that the cost of not making requests exceeds the benefit. For one thing, when we avoid making requests we close the door to getting what we want. For another, we design lives of exhaustion by doing everything ourselves.

Still, anticipating "No" can hold us back. That's why it's important to understand that "No" does not limit our options so much as it expands them.

Consider this. Making a request and hearing "No" is a building block of successful relationships. When we make a demand, "No" signifies a break in relationship and the end to possibility. When we make requests, however, we assume the possibility that we will be told "No" without assuming that we will have to abandon the relationship as a result.

In addition, when we get a "No" in response to our requests, a world of possibilities emerges that we could not even imagine beforehand. For instance, a client asks to reschedule a session on a few hours' notice. I say "No." Here are just a few possibilities that might emerge from that "No":

• My "No" is a permission slip for this person to practice saying "No" to others.
• My "No" shows us that we want to revise our schedule for other weeks.
• Skipping a week might create much needed space in the client's calendar, and with that space a sense of abundance.
• Knowing that I take care of myself by saying "No" when I need to, my client feels confident that they can make requests of me without imposing.
• My client realizes that they want a different style or program of coaching.
• This "No" reveals other situations in which the client has problems around time.

None of these possibilities are better or worse than the possibilities that existed before "No" was said. The point is that a new world has arisen from "No" and that we have choices about how we engage with and interpret that new world.

Another advantage of understanding "No" generates new possibilities is that we do not need to strategize endlessly ("What will I do if...?) before making a request. This is because we recognize that we will be in a different world after we get our answer, whatever that answer is. While we may speculate about that world, we do well to leave room for the unexpected and unanticipated opportunities that unfold with it.

The implications of accepting "No" are extensive. If we make requests only when we fully expect a "Yes," our possibilities are limited to what we can maneuver others into granting us. In addition, we are haunted by the sense that something is missing. What's missing is passion, the keenness of feeling and sharpened desire that show up when we are as willing to face disappointment as we are to gain satisfaction.

If you are feeling like the music of your life is somehow muffled, take a look at the requests you are making and how you hold the possibility of "No." Then make some daring requests. You'll discover that there are riches in "No" beyond your wildest dreams.


I welcome your comments and questions. Please send your letters to letters@mollygordon.com . Please do not reply to this newsletter as your message will be lost in cyber-limbo.


The Bedside Table
Fear No More: Speaking with Confidence
by Janet Esposito
I am someone who once had a severe fear of speaking in public. I spent years suffering with this speaking fear and desperately tried to hide it from my colleagues and those in upper management. That was over ten years ago, and today I have not only overcome my own fear but also am dedicated to helping people overcome fear of public speaking and performing. In addition to live workshops, I have written a book and created a CD that teach you how to speak with confidence, authenticity, and ease through a series of guided exercises.

You are not alone if you suffer from a very high degree of performance anxiety with speaking or performing. Many very capable, competent, highly accomplished people suffer the same shame and embarrassment. Many people use avoidance as a coping strategy, which further fuels the cycle of fear and self-doubt and leaves them feeling even more helpless in facing this challenge.

Fortunately, there is a better way. My holistic approach addresses aspects of body, mind, and spirit as you create a new pathway to approaching this issue. For example, you learn to shift your focus of attention to create feelings of inner safety and support. You learn to become more resourceful and resilient.

You can try this right now. Just imagine how it feels when you speak to a group and you focus your attention and inner dialogue on how afraid you are. Feel the discomfort of imagining that other people will discover your fear. Notice the self-doubt and the symptoms that arise in this situation.

Now, gently shake off this state of mind and body. Again imagine that you are speaking. This time, pretend that you have trained your mind to focus on things that support and empower you and that you are putting your attention on connection with others and the true purpose of your speaking or performing.

Can you feel how different speaking is when you come from this connected, service-oriented place? You simply don’t have to live with the fear anymore.

You can purchase Janet's book and CD from Amazon.com at the following links:
BOOK: In the Spotlight: Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking and Performing, Janet Esposito, MSW
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1928782078/mollygordonperso

CD: In The SpotLight: Guided Exercises to Create a Calm and Confident State of Mind, Body, & Spirit While Speaking or Performing
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0974296619/mollygordonperso
of peaceful engagement. Perfect for reflective thinking, relaxation, renewal.


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Quick Links
Resources
Thank you for supporting The New Leaf by purchasing the products and services recommended below. I personally test every product I recommend, and every merchant will refund your investment if you are not satisfied. If they don't make it right, I will.

===> Now and Zen
NEW: The Tibetan Phone Bell replaces the electronic ring of your telephone with the lovely tones of a solid brass bowl that strikes every 5 seconds when a call comes in. The Tibetan Phone Bell is as beautiful to see as it is to hear, and you can use it as a timer, too. Now you can transform a ringing phone from an interruption to a call to awareness.
http://www.now-zen.com/cgi-bin/aff?nzap316


Small Print
Copyright | Getting On and Off the List
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is written and
edited by Molly Gordon, MCC.Copyright (c) Shaboom Inc. (r) 2003.
All rights reserved. www.mollygordon.com

"Shaboom, Inc." and "Authentic Promotion" are registered trade or service marks of Shaboom, Inc. All other trademarks are property of their respective owners.

You may reprint material from "The New Leaf(tm)" in other electronic or print publications provided the above copyright notice and a link to http://www.mollygordon.com is included in the credits. Please send me a copy of the publication.

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Readers’ Special
A Gift of Music
I invited my friend Werner John to put together a special offer for New Leaf readers. He wants to earn money to tide him over the winter months and learn more about marketing online. I want to offer readers special incentives so that I continue to build the New Leaf community and I also want to be able to measure the response to special offers.

Werner already offers free shipping for any online order of more than one CD. Now, for a limited time, New Leaf readers can receive 10% off any CD or combination of CDs. In addition, if you order four CDs, Werner will throw in a free copy of his Christmas Past, with special guest Eugene Friesen of the Paul Winter Consort. These discs make wonderful gifts.

To get your discount and free CD, go to http://www.woodflutes.com/elhome.html. Read about the albums, listen to samples, and make your choices. Then, when you use the online secure credit card order form, enter the discount code newleaf (one word!).

I hope you'll take advantage of this opportunity to support Werner's work and to get a great value for yourself.