The New Leaf™
The Official Newsletter of Authentic Promotion™
Volume 5, No. 26, July 1, 2003
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-311X
Molly Gordon, Master Certified Coach
====> Protect your subscription. If you are experiencing lapses in
delivery or if we’re ending up in your bulk mail folder, take a minute
right now to create a contact for newleaf@mollygordon.com in the
address book of your email program. For more tips on ensuring
delivery, send a blank email to delivery@mollygordon.com. And
remember -- when you change your email address, change your
subscription, too, at http://www.mollygordon.com.
In This Issue
Fast Focus: Change Flash Points to Choice Points
Simple Gifts: Top Useful Business Books (and how to use them)
Open for Business: Why We Bother At All
The Bedside Table
Quick Links: Resources
Small Print: Copyright | Getting On and Off the List
Privacy Statement | Contact Info
Fast Focus
Change Flash Points to Choice Points
Each of us acts out of a complex mix of motives and instincts shaped
by our history and our desires. In any given moment our reactions
may be governed by more or less accidental influences, accidental in
that they operate below the level of conscious choice and heart felt
commitment.
It takes time and it takes practice, but you can learn to notice the
mental, physical, and emotional signs that indicate you are reacting
instead of choosing. You can let those signs remind you to pause, to
ask yourself before you act what you choose to care about, and to
let the answers shape your choices.
This week, stop at mid-day and at the end of your workday and review
the previous hours. When did you react without forethought, possibly
in a way you regret or that you recognize as less effective than you
might have liked? See if you can remember the mood you were in, the
story you were telling yourself, the sensations in your body, and
make brief notes in your journal. The point here is to increase your
awareness so you will have more choice in the moment. Daily practice
will help you turn flash points into choice points so that you can
live up to your commitments rather than down to your reflexes.
Simple Gifts
Top Useful Business Books
Wow. More than 200 people requested the Discernment Guide in less
than 24 hours last week. If you missed it last week, here's the
address for the autoresponder: discernment@mollygordon.com.
This week's simple gift is the list of the books I keep on my
bookshelf especially for entrepreneurs and solo practitioners. To
get it, send a blank email to bizbooks@mollygordon.com.
Tips for Getting Value from Your Biz Book Investments
1. Choose one book at a time so you won't get overwhelmed.
2. Plan to refer to it over and over rather than reading it once.
3. Do read it. It won't make you money sitting on the shelf.
4. Use it like a workbook. That means try the techniques and
suggestions.
5. Make time. Set aside an hour or more a week to read and implement
new ideas.
6. Focus. Choose three things to try and try them before you do
anything else.
7. Don't break your teeth on the parts you hate.
8. Do chew on the parts that take you one or two steps out of your
comfort zone.
9. Challenge yourself to integrate what you read with your values
and stop pretending they have to be in conflict.
10. When you disagree with the author; look for a bigger context, a
better solution, a truer direction.
Open for Business
Why We Bother At All
"Everything we do is rooted in some value or other, conscious or not.
There's a classic coaching question that goes to the heart of this
fact: "For the sake of what?" or, in the vernacular, "Why will you
(or we) bother at all?"
Asking this question as part of planning and at key choice points
during a project is essential for establishing focus and generating
momentum. It's all too easy to get derailed by the many mixed
motives and hidden agendas that operate in each of us all the time.
Beginning with the question, "For the sake of what?" helps to
favorably shift the signal to noise ratio in our internal and
external conversations.
Here's a situation that vividly illustrates how asking, "For the sake
of what?" reveals whole different worlds of purpose and intent.
Imagine a young mother out in her front yard with her three year old
son. She is talking to a neighbor. Her son begins to pull on the hem
of her shorts to get her attention. She asks him to wait for a
moment while she finishes talking (accurately perceiving that there
is no emergency). Her son then lets go of her and begins to wander
off. After a moment she realizes he is very near the street and may
walk out into the road at any moment. What does she do, and for the
sake of what does she do it?
While we might disagree emphatically with her choice, she might
decide to ignore him for the sake of showing her neighbor that she
is not prone to panic or that she trusts her son (at three!), or
that she is not willing to be manipulated by his behavior. Please
note, I am not claiming that any of these are good ideas -- just
showing how a single choice (to ignore him) might be motivated by
various underlying values, by various answers to the question, "For
the sake of what?".
She might also decide to go after him immediately, and here, too,
she could be acting "for the sake of" a number of quite different
values. She could be going after him for the sake of his physical
safety, for the sake of demonstrating her authority, for the sake of
getting out of a tedious conversation.
I submit that there is a big difference among the relative weight
and importance of these various "for the sake of"s. In addition,
notice how each of our hypothetical mother's "for the sake of"s
defines a quite different space of possible relationships for
herself and for her son (and even for her neighbor).
In any situation we are each motivated by a mixture of values and
instincts. Realizing this, we have the opportunity (and, I think,
the responsibility) to consciously examine and choose among many
possible motives. Choosing deliberately not only prevents us from
reacting in haste, it gives us access to the creative infrastructure
of the future we are building.
Here's a business example. If I am tired and decide not to write
this newsletter for the sake of proving that my business can't push
me around, I will be creating a certain world of possibilities for
myself, one that, I submit, is rather narrow. If, however, I choose
to write it anyway for the sake of maintaining a long term context
for effective and meaningful client relationships, building a
vehicle for creating passive revenue, sustaining momentum and
continuity with a community of readers and a network of supporters,
I am not simply making a different choice, I am declaring a wholly
different (and larger and more profitable and more satisfying)
universe in which to show up.
Every day you are faced with complex decisions in your career or
business. Use these opportunities to remember that all of your
actions and reactions are rooted in some value, conscious or not.
When you pause and ask "for the sake of what," you reveal to
yourself whether you are living up to your own aspirations or
slipping into a pattern of resignation and resentment from which it
can be difficult to recover.
Discover "for the sake of what" you are called to do your best work,
and then learn how to take that knowledge and make it the foundation
of a successful marketing program so you can show up, serve, and
prosper. Authentic Promotion: Grow Your Business, Feed Your Soul
is a self-guided course in how to market work that matters. Sample
chapter at http://www.learntolovemarketing.com; order form at http://www.kickstartcart.com/app/netcart.asp?merchantid=29060&productid=1283526
Here's what Patrick Merlevede, author of Seven Steps to Emotional
Intelligence, has to say about my book:
"It's a great, down to earth resource, packed with practical advice
and compatible with my principles about emotional intelligence. If
you want to establish yourself as an independent coach, trainer,
contractor or consultant this might be the book you need!"
The Bedside Table
Two favorites:
Zoom, Istvan Banyai
Re-Zoom, Istvan Banyai
I suppose these are children’s books, but I’ve been giving them to
clients for years. These brilliantly colored books have not a single
word of text yet they manage to communicate the creative and
destructive power of point of view with a thoroughness that ten
coaching conversations might not match. Which one to buy? Get
both. Amazon will ship for free when you make a minimum order
of $25.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/014055694X/mollygordonperso
7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence, Patrick Merlevede.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1899836500/mollygordonperso
A very practical book that brings emotional intelligence and principles
of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) together. Models, practices,
and access to two assessment tools at the Jobeq.com Web site.
Patrick also writes a fine newsletter on Emotional Intelligence. "The 7EQ
Newsletter," http://groups.yahoo.com/group/7eq
You Are What You Say, Matthew Budd. Highly readable and packed with
exercises to teach you the power of language to generate opportunity.
US: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0812929624/mollygordonperso
UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0812929624/mollygordoncerti
Searching for a book or other product on Amazon?
When you use these linksto Amazon search engines you support
The New Leaf. Please visit and bookmark them today.
US: http://www.mollygordon.com/searchbook.html
UK: http://www.mollygordon.com/eurobook.html
Quick Links
Resources
Happy Distractions: Cirque du Soleil’s Zumanity
Click on this page to download a QuickTime movie of one of Cirque du
Soleil’s marvels. Thanks to coach Adela Huber for pointing the way to
this one. http://www.zumanity.com/en/voyeur/voyeur.asp
Adela calls herself “The Geezer Coach” and works with folks suffering
from Post Retirement Stress Disorder. She sounds fun. You can learn
more about her at http://www.cvreferral.com/3/101670.html
Resources: Ezine-Tips is a weekly ezine offering tips, reviews, and
resources to help you produce, grow, and manage a quality ezine. I
have no connection with them other than as a very satisfied and grateful
reader and an occasional tip contributor.
Join the text version: join-ezine-tips-text-weekly@lists.ezine-tips.com
Join the HTML version:join-ezine-tips-html-weekly@lists.ezine-tips.com
Thank you for supporting The New Leaf by purchasing the products
and services recommended below. I personally test every product I
recommend, and every merchant will refund your investment if you
are not satisfied. If they don't make it right, I will.
===>Clear the Desk!
Turn a desk that looks like a toxic waste dump, one that resembles
the flight deck of an aircraft carrier. That's what I actually learned
to do from Jeffrey Mayer's ebook, "Winning The Fight Between You
and Your Desk." My desk actually looks more like the deck of a
reasonably well-kept tug boat, but you get the idea. To cut through
the clutter, go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=27096
For free tips on making the most of Jeff’s system, send a blank email
to cleandesk@mollygordon.com.
===>KickStartCart
KickStartCart is a shopping cart system that includes unlimited
sequential auto responders, secure order pages (you do not need your
own secure server), a fully integrated affiliate program, and so much
more. It's one of several "re-brandings" or franchises of the same system,
and I like this one because it has excellent customer service and support.
It's the system I've used for over a year, and it paid for itself in the first
week. http://www.kickstartcart.com/app/default.asp?pr=31&id=29060
===>BRIDGE THE GAP: Call a meeting, hold a family reunion, or convene
a study group with participants from around the world without leaving your
home or office. $20 per hour for up to 50 participants. Discounts available
for repeat use. For info (no obligation), send a blank email to bridge@mollygordon.com.
Small Print
Copyright | Getting On and Off the List
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is written and edited by Molly
Gordon, MCC. Copyright (c) Shaboom Inc. (tm) 2003. All rights reserved.
www.mollygordon.com
"Shaboom, Inc." and "Authentic Promotion" are registered trade or
service marks of Shaboom, Inc. All other trademarks are property
of their respective owners.
You may reprint material from "The New Leaf(tm)" in other electronic or
print publications provided the above copyright notice and a link to
http://www.mollygordon.com is included in the credits. Please send me a
copy of the publication.
You can get off this list by going to http://www.mollygordon.com
or by sending an email to unsub@mollygordon.com.
When you forward this material, please send the entire newsletter. Thanks!
Privacy Statement | Contact Info
We never sell, rent, or loan subscriber information to any third party. Period.
Shaboom, Inc.
Life could be a dream…
PO Box 195
Suquamish, WA 98392-0195
P 360-697-7022
F 801-996-7022