Fast Focus

Success is not a race we run alone
I used to think that success was a race I ran alone, and that the measure of how well I as doing was the distance between me and the next runner. Today I celebrate success as a shared journey, and measure my progress by the number of companions I meet on the road. Thank you for being among them.

Housekeeping
"I too lose control and consider the dust huddled in the corner a threat to my endurance." From "Flight," by James Tate.

I love that line. It captures so well the feeling of being overwhelmed, the state of mind in which a random dust bunny poses a threat to sanity and order. For many years it has also provided me with a way out from that very condition. Housekeeping.

Odd as it may sound, cleaning house is a fine remedy for garden variety anxiety, overcommitment and simple panic. As I create order in my physical surroundings I dissipate anxious energy. My thoughts, which may be (!) churning when I start, gradually clarify. As my external environment becomes more pleasing and less chaotic, my internal environment also brightens.

Next time youíre feeling overwhelmed, take a break with a dust cloth or a broom. It's very simple, and it works.

Beginnings
I remember musing as a child on the distant marvel of the year 2000. When you're small, you tend to think in terms of birthdays, and I wondered mightily what it would be like to be 47 (I'm actually only 46 and one quarter at present, but who's counting?). I knew, even as a little girl, that 47 was not actually VERY OLD, but it did seem KIND OF OLD, and I certainly expected to be VERY GROWN UP, even FULLY ADULT by that advanced age.

Well, here we are at the dawn of the new millennium. Iím pretty grown up, but not very. I was 35 before I really understood that I didnít know anything, and I've noticed since then that the less I think I know the smarter I am. Maybe this will be the year when I step fully into being a beginner. Will you join me?

"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
T. S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"

Communities
Communities provide marvelous benefits: companionship, referrals, support, inspiration, information, energy. What are you doing to build your communities? This week, choose one community and focus on what you have to offer in terms of time, talent or treasure. Dig a little deeper, give a little more than is comfortable, andómost importantógive without calculating your return on investment. Your presence in community is the key to having the community present to you.

Over the top of the rut
In this week's Working Thoughts I talk about coaching and playing a bigger game, a game in which we are responsible for leading meaningful lives as well as productive ones.

One way we fall short of this bigger game is that we get really good at doing what we know how to do. As a result, we think that doing more of that will result in more happiness, more money, more understanding. In fact, we may be carving our paths into ruts, ruts which can get so deep that we no longer see the countryside around us. In an attempt to get a bigger picture, we draw maps of our world that are missing huge chunks of the landscape simply because we cannot see over the top of our rut.

Can you name a rut that youíre in now? Simply acknowledging that you are there invites the awareness of the landscape which lies just over the top.

Time Enough
As the holidays approach and the days become shorter and shorter in the northern hemisphere, are you poised to participate in the rhythm of the season or are you girding yourself for increased effort and strain? How would it be to know you have enough time? How much time is enough? How do you know?

What are YOU paying for?
As many of us embark on holiday shopping, letís bear in mind the old saying, "You get what you pay for." We often think of this in terms of the quality of goods we purchase. This year I am thinking about it in terms of the quality of relationship I experience and the community I co-create when I shop. I invite you to join me in being more conscious of the choices we make this season.

Keeping Gas in the Tank
At year's end it can be especially tempting to defer self care as we madly rush to fulfill goals and meet deadlines. This is like refusing to put gas in a car that is running on empty because you have not yet reached your destination. If you've been putting off taking time for yourself or for your family, consider that you risk running out of fuel unless you reassess. Then, reconsider your plans for the week, keeping an eye out for rest stops and service stations along the way!

Out of the Box
We live and work in boxes of our own making, and we pretend that someone or something else put them there. What boxes are you living in? What beliefs, habits, and fears are confining you today?

What happens inside you when you acknowledge that you built this box?

Give It Away
One time-tested way to attract goodness into our life is to give generously of what you have. Giving generously ensues from and generates a sense of well-being. Giving is a form of delight in action, and it tends to attract more delight.

Test this principle for yourself. Ask yourself what can you give with a generous spirit, a generous heart, a generous hand. Name it, then act on it. Do it again. Notice how it feels to give freely and who or what shows up as a result. As you experience the benefits that flow from practicing generosity, you'll be less and less inclined to equate giving with loss or deprivation. You'll find more and more ways to give, and--what do you know?--there will be more and more for you to give away.

What World Are You Creating?
We can understand how language creates the world when we reflect on how the world changes for a bride and groom once a minister or judge pronounces them man and wife. Similarly, we can notice how the world changes with declarations of war, cease fire, or surrender.

Most declarations are much more subtle, yet their effects can be just as far reaching, What declarations are you making as you step into the new year? What kind of world do you want to create?

Who Do You Think You're Talking To?
Talking is so much a part of our lives that we assume we know how to do it. When we can't get through to someone, we tend to assume there is something wrong with their listening. We broadcast our messages without troubling to notice whether or not listeners are tuned to our radio station.

Where are the breakdowns in your broadcast? Like some artists, you may not be talking into the microphone: "My work speaks for itself," you say, unable to see that most people will need an audible signal before they can tune into that wavelength.

Or maybe you're in the "Why should I have to explain/apologize/etc." bind, unwilling to accept that most people listen to WII-FM (What's In It For Me?). If you're not sending some messages on that band, you won't be getting through.

Who do you think you're talking to?

Keep the Channel Open
"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open." Martha Graham, quoted by biographer Agnes de Mille in "Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham"

What Do You Want?
Unless you pay attention, it's easy to be caught up in striving after unimportant objectives. This is the highway to burn out and disillusionment.

Fortunately, there is an exit from this highway. When stressed, stop and ask, "What am I doing? For the sake of what am I doing it?" When the answers reveal that you are serving your core values, energy and commitment are renewed. When you discover that your values are not being served, revise your aspirations and commitments accordingly.

Market Authentically
Authenticity is, in my view, intimately involved with creativity, evolution, change. It is closely allied with the notion of authorship, thus of ownership of one's actions. Authenticity acknowledges that we are always creating or writing our own stories. Expressed in business, authenticity will step up to the challenge of making strong, clear, valid offers to prospects that are likely to benefit from those offers.

Authentic marketing says, "This is who I am and here is how I can connect with you. I expect that we will both be changed in the course of our relationship. I am willing to discover you and myself in new ways as we do business. Come on down, let's see what we can create together."

Target Practice
Perfectionism keeps us from living our lives and doing our work. We stall over the first sentence of an article; falter before signing up for a class; or fail to offer sympathy to a suffering friend because we don't know what to say.

If you want to improve a skill, you need to practice it. Sometimes it is necessary to do something poorly in order to do it at all. Once you've begun, you can revise and improve, but until you've begun you can't possibly do better.

Are you holding yourself back by aiming to carefully at your target? Lighten up and shoot.

On the Other Side of Fear
Fear showed up (hello!) in a career coaching group this week, and inspired the following (very short) exercise.

Invite one of your fears into your awareness. Take a moment to notice how it is to be with this fear, and to appreciate where it shows up in your body. Now, just for a moment, pretend that you are on the other side of this fear. (A powerful way to engage this pretend is to ask your body to show you how it will feel when you are no longer afraid in this way.)

What is your life is like on the other side of this fear? What choices do you have that you did not have before? How are you free to act? What possibilities have opened up?

Copyright (c) Shaboom, Inc.™ 2002. All rights reserved.

U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-311X.

You may reprint or copy or distribute The New Leaf ™ provided this copyright notice and a link to http://www.mollygordon.com is included.